Why is it so hard to accept the kindness of strangers? As I was looking through my wallet for change on the bus this morning, I found I didn't have enough, so I was going to have to pay $2 instead of $1.50, since I just had two bills. A woman next to me noticed, and offered me the 35 cents she had, so I could add it to my 15 cents and make the fare without paying extra.
I tried to give her a whole dollar any way, but she refused, so I said thank you (a few times). But I kind of felt bad about it. I mean, I felt so grateful to this woman for helping me, and was amazed with how nice a stranger could be, but I desperately wanted to find enough change in my backpack to pay her back before I got off the bus.
Eventually, after much digging, I found a dime. As we got off the bus and I tried to give it to her, she told me not to worry about it and just smiled and said had a nice day.
So nice of her, but I couldn't help feeling bad about it. I guess maybe I felt guilty. Or with a sense that I really don't want to take other people's money and make them worse off. (It was only 35 cents, I know, but still.)
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Accepting Kindness
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3 comments:
We've gotten so independent that even the smallest act of inter-dependance feels really awkward. I felt the same way when the car in front of me paid my toll. Instead of feeling grateful for the unexpected kindness, my first reaction was to chase them down to repay them...probably not what they had in mind!
With practice, we'll get better :)
That's so interesting! I wonder if 100 years ago, when perhaps there was a better sense of community, people's first reaction would have been different.
Time to watch the movie Pay it Forward. It becomes very clear then. Allowing someone to help you and then passing that help on to someone else is a wonderful feeling and blessing.
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